What’s the point of therapy for chronic illness?

When you live with chronic illness, it defines so much of your life, even though it only captures a small part of who you are.

There are very real implications to chronic illness (limited energy, many appointments, ongoing stress, isolation), but so much of the shame and emotional pain around chronic illness is due to the messages we receive about what chronic illness means about us. Our culture tells us that we are not valuable if we aren’t “productive”. And that we are a drain on society or our loved ones. And that if we only took better care of ourselves, we wouldn’t be struggling.

It tells us that something about us is wrong. Not just that something bad happened to us, but that we are bad.

This is true of both visible disabilities and invisible ones, each with their own set of additional messages. Those with visible disabilities may be taught that their disability is their whole personality, that they should be grateful for help, or that they don’t know what’s best for themselves. Those with invisible disabilities might be told that they are making it up, that their pain doesn’t count, and that they don’t deserve help.

These are some of the internalized messages that we can explore in therapy.

Talk therapy can help to name some of these beliefs and debunk them on a cognitive level, while EMDR can help connect them to past experiences and move those experiences from the trauma center of the brain to memory storage where they aren’t as painful. This opens up the possibility that you can be living with your disability while also holding positive regard for yourself and the life you want to live.

EMDR is also particularly useful for processing medical trauma—whether from intrusive evaluations or traumatic interventions—flare-ups, regrets you might hold related to your illness, or specific judgements or microaggressions you’ve experienced.

Therapy can’t make your illness go away, but it can change your relationship to it and to your sense of self, by acknowledging and validating your experiences, while affirming your worth, your goals, and your strength.